The Perfect Burger

It's grilling season. And you know what that means: fried tomatoes. No, just kidding. It means burgers! It is, of course, also high season for grill-mands (like gourmands? See what I did there?) to get all fancy and grill up watermelon, pizza, and even truly "grilled" cheese. But the most basic of all backyard BBQ staples is the humble burger.

There are a couple of tricks to making the perfect burger. First, you need a meat with a good meat-to-fat ratio like 80/20 or 85/15. This ensures that you'll have a moist (sorry! juicy) burger. I also add some onions for flavor and additional juice (more on that below). Second, you need some good seasonings. Mustard for kick, Worcestershire to enhance that beefy flavor, garlic because garlic should be in everything, and of course salt and pepper to round everything out. Third, you need to shape the patties so they don't dome in the middle, which a) makes them cook unevenly b) makes your toppings slip off and c) increases the likelihood that you'll be tempted to press down on the burger while cooking, thereby pushing out all the juices and losing the tasty fruits (or burgers) of your labors! This list is getting pretty long, so let's just make 'em and you can see how it's done.

 Your mise-en-place should include ground beef, grainy mustard, worcestershire sauce (god that's hard to spell!), garlic, and onion. Oh, and salt and pepper. Warning to vegetarians, vegans, or people who don't like pictures of raw meat: turn away. I promise a veggie recipe tomorrow!

 Combine all of your ingredients in a large mixing bowl. Don't worry about those large pieces of onion--they're your secret weapon against dry burgers. As the burgers cook, the onions will, too, taking on some of the beef flavor while releasing some of their juices to keep the burger tasty. Remember the Moist-Maker from Friends? Ross' turkey sandwich with the gravy soaked bread in the center? Jog your memory here at 1:47. These onions=your Moist-Maker.

 When you shape the patties, roll into a ball, flatten slightly between your palms, and put a thumbprint in the center of the top of the burger. Let 'em chill for at least 15 minutes before grilling so they stick together.

 Throw 'em on a grill over high heat, indented side up. Cook for 5 minutes on one side (for medium burgers)...

 And flip to cook for 4 or 5 minutes on the other side. So remember--we're cooking indented side up, flipping ONLY ONCE, and making sure to to NOT press down on them with the spatula. This is all for the benefit of a delicious burger. It's worth it. Remove from the heat when done and let rest a few minutes before serving. They will finish cooking and the juices will contract into the meat. I wonder how many times I said "juice" in this post? First one to count them all and post the number in Comments gets the nerd award!

Please forgive this awful photo of the finished burger. I was oh-so-ready to bite into my burger that I sacrificed a photogenic shot. But you can still see my toppings--bacon, tomato, and chipotle mayonnaise on a whole wheat bun. These burgers are juicy, delicious, and you know what else? Perfect. Enjoy!


The Perfect Burger

• 3 lbs ground hamburger, 80-85% lean/20-15% fat
• 1/4 cup Worcestershire sauce
• 2 Tbsp grainy mustard
• 3 cloves garlic, minced
• 1/2 onion, chopped
• 1 tsp black pepper 
• 1/2 tsp salt

1. Combine all ingredients in a large bowl. Shape into 7-8 patties by rolling each burger into a ball, pressing flat with the palms of your hands, and making a small indent with your thumb on one side of the burger. Let chill at least 15 minutes before grilling.
2. Cook over high heat on a grill, indented side up, 5 minutes on each side for medium. Let the burgers rest at least 5 minutes before serving so the juices contract back into the meat. Top with your favorite toppings.